The v-neck

Wow, everyone's picked so many of my top picks already (especially Kelly and those suits. I LOVE men in suits. I think half the reason my heroes tend to be businessmen rather than manual workers is because I love, love, love to put them in suits with crisp white shirts underneath. Especially slightly undone suits--loose ties, top couple of buttons undone...rowr! Although I do enjoy firemen and mechanics as much as the next girl, too.)

But for casual wear? I love those v-necks. Especially v-neck sweaters, the thin, expensive ones. I love when a white t-shirt peeks out the top and I love them plain. Something about the way they emphasize the breadth of shoulders makes me all limp inside. Even the thinnest man looks manlier in a v-neck sweater (not t-shirts, though, I'm not crazy about v-neck t-shirts.)

I like when they wear chunky boots or shoes that make their jeans bag at the ankles. It makes them look solid, sturdy.

Thin, faded t-shirts are nice, the way they cling to chests and shoulders. Jeans that aren't too baggy but aren't too tight. I like black jeans--well, black anything, really. Black is a serious color, it's not frivolous, and a man shouldn't be frivolous either.

I've also developed a fondness for those mock-turtleneck sweaters that zip up the front, if the zipper runs all the way down. Unzipped or zipped, I like them.

Men should wear subdued colors--black, gray (I love gray), burgundy, heathery or navy blue, hunter green, tan or brown or taupe. Men should not wear pastels or bright colors (see exceptions below), except red on occasion if they're Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit. He could pull it off. Not all men can. And even that was a dark red. So I guess it stands. The only other way I'll accept bright colors on men are if they wear bowling or tiki shirts, which I like for casual wear provided the wearer has a sense of humor about them.

Men should not wear sandals. Men should never wear white shoes that aren't tennis shoes. No black socks with shorts--in fact, no shorts. I don't think anyone should wear shorts over the age of about 23. Women can wear skirts and men can wear big-boy pants. A man can take the heat.

Men should not wear brown after dark. As Frank Sinatra said, "a man should blend in with the night sky."

Some jewelry is okay. I like neck chains, but the only charms permitted are shark's teeth (on some men) or dog tags (on any man), and no gold chains at all. I like chunky silver rings (and have recently discovered an odd fondness for pinky rings, of all things, must be all the mob movies I'm watching lately) and watches. Some men can pull of bracelets, but most can't. Spiked leather bands are of course sexy, as long as the attitude behind it is real, and believe me I can tell. Same with spiked belts. If you bought it at Hot Topic, you probably aren't wearing it right.

I agree with Sherrill and Sierra that hats are lovely, simple lovely, and we lost something huge when they fell out of fashion. I am fond of suspenders like Anna (although I confess the overalls threw me. They just don't appeal to me.)

A few years ago we bought my husband a completely new wardrobe. Guess what he wears these days?

What are your rules for what men shouldn't wear?