Lousy Luck In Lists

I don't even want to go here....into the luck zone...this place where our dear Kelly apparently feels so at home...

Because I am Kelly's unlucky twin, the girl who nervously raps on wood every chance she gets and is terrified to say she's ever *not* had a bad thing happen to her for fear that it most absolutely, certainly WILL HAPPEN!!! and probably in the VERY NEAR FUTURE!!!

So here is my unluckyness in list format, for that feels less intimidating to the non-lucky:

1. Number of times I've won money on a slot machine (and I've done my share of gambling)--0

2. The number of close friends/family under the age of 50 I've had die (and I'm only 29)-7

3. Number of times I've won a lotto scratch card-1 (for $50.00)

4. The number of times my condo-complex has been embezzled leaving me with an $8,000.00 bill to pay a disgruntled construction worker-1

(Those two HARDLY even each other out!!)

5. Number of times I've had a boyfriend dump me because I had cervical cancer-1

6. The number of times I've dumped a boyfriend because his cock was too small-1

(Those two really DO even each other out. The first wasn't bad luck so much as choosing an asshole boyfriend. And the second was me just being an asshole. I mean...the motion of the ocean right?...right...I could have at least given the man a chance...)

7. Number of times I've drawn the short straw at Thanksgiving and had to wash all the dishes--5 (fairly horrible considering I was only elligible for entry at age 18)

8. The number of times I've had a tattoo artist insert his name in the artwork he inked on my body without my knowledge-1

9. The number of times I've missed a bus, thusly enabling me to snag a ride in a car that was later involved in a horrible wreck--2 (kid you not)

10. The number of times I figured it was okay to streak the senior dorms on a dare in college and was nearly apprehended by policeman, but managed to escape into a room that I thought was my boyfriend's but ended up being a pot dealer's and ended up being carted in for questioning at 2 in the morning buck naked-1

And I could go on and on and on and on....but the important thing to realize here is that, in all the situations that REALLY count...I've been incredibly lucky. My son was born healthy, happy, and smarter than your average rugrat. My second husband is the answer to my romantic dreams, and even my first husband wasn't THAT bad. I had incredibly loving parents, and the blessings of many dear friends to help me through the unlucky times.

But still...I'll admit to being superstitious enough that I'll try to forget this post ever came into being. If I never blogged about luck, then the 'bad luck' gods won't have their attention drawn to me...yet again....right? Right!!!

*knock on wood*

Anna J. Evans (who has a release today....go check out "Main Attraction" HERE)